Thank you to my husband, Justin, for writing this guest post.
We were driving home from a holiday brunch when my wife shouted out something along the lines of “oh my God that’s perfect!”
Did we discover a hidden amount of money that was going to make our lives so much easier? No. Did I come up with a brilliant solution to one of life’s great mysteries? Not even close. Did I just unveil a secret gift that I had been waiting for the perfect moment to give her and this was that moment!?!? I wish. No, what we discovered was something pretty unremarkable (although my wife might tell you differently). What we happened across on that day was simply a plain white brick wall.
Just a plain.
What It’s Like Being an Instagram Husband
As our daughter patiently waited in her seat in the back of my car, my wife fervently ripped her coat off so that the bright wall behind her could perfectly offset her wonderfully dainty brunch outfit while I stuck my iPhone out of the driver side window hoping this drive by photo shoot could quickly produce and internet worthy photo when I realized something:
I am an Instagram Husband.
It’s ok. Enough time has passed since that day that the shock of this realization has worn off, and I am ready to tell the men of the world how to identify yourself as and Instagram Husband.
Have you ever walked in on your wife sitting in bed, cross legged trying to take that elusive perfect t-shirt selfie? You might be an Instagram Husband.
Have you ever watched your wife go through her typical getting ready routine on a lazy Saturday just to drag you outside to take a picture of her in front of the tree in the back yard? Oh, and it’s a blizzard out, but the snow looks perfect the way it lands on her knit cap and you need to make sure not to get the snow tracks in the picture as well? You might be an Instagram Husband.
Have you come home after your wife has already gotten out of her clothes from the day and into her PJs and had to review her latest Instagram post to see how cute she was that day? If so, you might be an Instagram Husband.
If you have been so conditioned that you instinctually raise your arm to take a downward angled photo, no matter what the occasion, you might be an Instagram Husband.
Are you an expert in shoe photos? Seriously, I’ve never seen so many pictures of someone wearing their shoes in my life! Well, my friend, you are an Instagram Husband.
Do you find yourself noticing things, strange things, things that you would have never paid any attention to before, but now you point them out to your wife and follow with “that would be a good Instagram picture”? Then you definitely ARE an Instagram Husband.
Did you buy a selfie stick in the hopes that it’d get you off the hook? Does your wife not use it? You might be an Instagram Husband. (See Lindsay looking at the selfie stick box…mocking me.)
Have you taken so many pictures for your wife that you foolishly think that after only taking one or two photos that you’ve “nailed” her Instagram Picture for the day? You are an Instagram Husband.
If you have come up with your own terms like IGP, #IGP or InstaPic instead of saying “Instagram Picture.” You guessed it. You’re an InstaHusband. See what I did there?
These are just a few of the ways that I was able to identify myself as an Instagram Husband. If you find yourself in this same situation I recommend the following. Stop. Take a deep breath. And take the damn picture. Otherwise you’ll be there forever.
In what ways did you find out or did your husband find out that they were an Instagram Husband? Share this with your guys; I want to hear I’m not alone in this.
Follow Lindsay on Instgram here.